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2009 Olympia Co-Ed Traveling Team |
Thanks to Tyler for these pictures.
The highest-lights were: (1) O dressed as Mario Kart. The fairy does not know a damn thing about Mario Kart, but she knows that we were awesome. See photos, copyright Tyler Allen. (2) The Oly tournament debut of Chris Gibbs. Mr. Gibbs showed up in Oly in September, got drafted by some lucky bastard for fall league, and hopped in the carpool to the Tri Cities. We like his company and his play. And he is tall. Did you know that his name is an anagram for HIGH POSTS CRIBBER? R.f. doesn't give a damn who he's copying those high posts from; we'll take them. And (3) the quality photographic stylings of Tyler Allen (whose name is an anagram for NEARLY TELL, as in you can nearly tell what we did every minute of the weekend from Tyler's photos).
Anybody who's played ultimate in the Tri Cities knows about the wind. This year it greeted us excitedly for our first game. In a nasty cross-wind like that, there would be no repeat of last year's vaunted victory over Moonshine (aka Mortal Kombat). This time, we'd just chase the disc around and hang on for dear life. Dante evaded many a stall with his signature throw of the game, a reverse-bounce backhand up and over the cup. To make it 4-6, Chris masqueraded as recently harvested timber, falling between two Moonshine defenders and snagging the disc on the way down. Clint showed up a smidge late, but made up for it right away with his dry bones koopa troopa costume, featuring a strap-on turtle shell. Within minutes, CONTRACT NIL had laid out on his shell, with a dramatic cracking sound effect. (If I were his insurance adjuster, I wouldn't honor the policy of a guy playing sports with a plastic beverage tub bungee-d to his back, either.) Gerber reeled in the last score, and we walked away with a respectable 6-8.
For the second game, we switched fields, the wind died a little, and we met our hosts Desert Lorax, disguised as Alice in Wonderland. Mario Kart glided to 7-0 at half, with the only a small bit of drama. At the tournament, Molly sported a fully stuffed yoshi costume, with the green guy's head and arms protruding from her stomach and his tail wagging from her backside. Early in the half, Molly laid out in the endzone, dinosaur be damned. Green arms flailed, and reptile face ate some turf for the score. CONK 'EM, MOLLY ain't the most masterful anagram the fairy has encountered, but damn, it fits. Right after half, Liam (sporting his birdo costume, complete with pink snout and ginormous bow) had a pretty tiptoe grab to make it 8-0. The banana-clad fairy collected a nice huck for a score from Dante, the banana handler (insert guffaws here, boys. Let's just get it all out of our systems: the best the anagram fairy can do with Paul Dante is PEANUT LAD). The wind picked back up, and O managed some awesome flow, culminating in a Will-to-Eric score. Eric busted ass on D on the next point with a precise read and rejection of a Wonderland huck. Why do you think they call him the BREECH SLICER? 13-4, O. The game was over, but the fun had just begun. Will had tracked down two flat-tired children's bikes (from goodwill, he claims. . . ) and dreamt up a Mario Kart obstacle course. Liam was O's first representative, and represent he did. . . in a floppy, fall-filled, banana-hurling frenzy (all with strap-on snout undisturbed).
More zone was in our future in game 3 against the chain gang from Wenatchee, as we moved back to cross-wind city. Early on, Todd delivered a beautiful upwind IO forehand to Dante in the endzone. Shortly thereafter, Molly called time on the goal line--the plan: swing to Dante then Malcolm Liam. Turned out that the PEANUT LAD was already in the endzone on the swing, and Malcolm was out of luck. Clint popped like a crazy man against the zone, prompting a Wenatchee defender to plead with his team, "stop that turtle!" Corey (still wearing his very large Toad head) and Andrew (a AAA-cup, but otherwise striking, Princess Daisy) generated some stellar movement in the middle against the zone. In command on the field, Andrew was stymied only by his yellow dress, and turned to Lisa for help at the porta-potty: "Hey, how do you pee in this thing?" Ask Lisa if WALKS, ODORS ENSUE is a fair assessment of the princess. O pulled with the hard cap in effect at 7-3, and Eric split some more knickers for the D of Wenatchee's first throw. O picked up and patiently marched downfield for a Will-to-Lisa score. (That's RAWHIDE TAPEWORM LEI-to-I GAG GIRLS, if you're interested). 8-3 O.
In game 4, O faced Portland's Dungeons & Dragons. Emily's game would be anything but a MAIDENLY SNORE. She wore a Wild Things costume the entire time (it may not have related to Mario Kart, but it was a costume, and it was exceedingly warm), and kicked off the scoring with a nice cut to the corner for an upwind point. Corey sent a UNICORN STYLE huck to Lisa who put it upwind to Gerber to make it 6-2. To take half, Todd dusted his defender on an unexpected cut to the back corner for an arching Dante forehand (over the head of a surprised Chris). [This just in. . . there are no anagrams for Todd King. Good thing his mother actually gave him a spare first name that he doesn't use! Too bad that combination causes all of his meaningful anagrams to have the word "dong" in them! R.f. will keep working on it. . .] After half, Molly let loose a half-field forehand that barely eluded Liam. (They'd make up for it with the same maneuver, complete that time, at 10-4). Liam employed his sixth sense for a no-look, backwards D on the goal line (HALO ARM SKIM, indeed), picked it up and sent it 30 yards to Eric, who fed Will, another 30 yards to Lisa, who dished it to Emily, who hit Corey for the score. To bring it to 12-4, Eric scored on a nice little put from his unfortunately anagrammed roommate (Gerber, you want CHERRY BRA GAZE or ERR BY HAG CRAZE? Take your pick. The fairy has failed to work either into the sports commentary.) Mr. Princess Daisy finished it off with a game winner to the DEATHLIKE ZEBRA (though the fairy thought she looked more like Toadette). 13-4, O.
This year at Hanford, they fed us. . . even the vegetarians. Huge kettles of soup, doughy white rolls, a smorgasbord of weirdly upscale cookies. Kaptain Kathy had the brilliance to sign us up for rooms in the same hotel as the party. We hit the hotel bar. Chris and Todd jumped into a drinking game with some other team. (Got it! Brandon Todd King = DRANK BOND DOT GIN. Never heard of Bond Dot Gin? Sure you have! Plastic bottle, handle for $3.49, hangover like a train wreck.) Dancing ensued, spearheaded, of course, by Ms. TANGY HO YUK herself. Before we knew it, she was wearing that spazzy Moonshine guy's turquoise satin jacket. A fine effort all around.
In morning, we took on Seattle's Berzerker (at Hanford--The Inebriates). We guessed that our hangovers would not equal theirs. We were correct. O fired it right up with hustle on the pull; Eric poached and forced an ill-advised first throw, interrupted by Andrew, who Malcolmed Corey for the score. Corey kept up the intensity with two hefty D's in the same point, and then Santana hit him with a horizontal IO for a hop-in score. After a pick call, Liam delivered an immediate cross-field break throw to Todd, for what would be a beautiful all-touch, all-in-cut point for O. 11-4. Andrew centered the disc in front of a T stack and called for "Michael" to cut, briefly confounding everyone including Michael. MANIACAL HASTEN on a handler cut for the score. (anagram fairy says damn good thing his momma gave him a first name, too). A couple of points later, Kathy rescued the fairy on the sideline and fed Dante, who sent one to the fairy cutting long. She surprised even herself with a cross-body, one-handed grab. ASTHMATIC NERD no longer. For the game winner, Beth busted long and Will offered up a nice backhand (THREW AIRMAILED FLOW, it's true). 15-5, O.
Then came Tacoma, and the greatest 15 seconds of Liam's life. Tacoma had its full arsenal of talent, and O was amped up. Early on, Chris laid out for a wayward put and launched the disc into the center of the endzone. Liam became a pink bolt of lightning, laid out for it, and nabbed it about an inch above the grass. GREATEST FOR A SCORE! (that's not an anagram for a damn thing). Then appeared the Tacoma killer-of-joy and eater-of-puppies, claiming that Chris's last foot had been out. Far be it from Chris to have seen (he was busy throwing the best lefthanded backwards backhand of his life), but he knocked over the cone going out. Hmmm. Not a greatest for a score. But great nonetheless. O came back with an all touch point--a perfect one touch apiece for the O line. Liam finished it off with a long bomb to Molly. Then Molly hit Liam for a score--Liam got position on the left-fading forehand and grabbed it with his pink birdo back spikes fending off the defender (HALOS MARK MI--it'd take divine D, no Liam?). 3-5. Lisa turned on the speed to put the kibosh on a long, pretty Tacoma put (you can call her IRON AIR SLASH. . . it's her maiden name). Molly again from Chris. And again from Liam. CONK 'EM. Emily lost her defender and rescued a handler on a high count, then send a pretty arching backhand to Andrew on the goal line. But in the end, we weren't enough for Tacoma. 6-13, maybe? The fairy has forgotten.
O was out of the running for the Howl glory, but still lively enough for another game. We met a Breaker's Mark/Pleistocene Supernova combo (you'll remember these teams as the ones with the old, round, deceptively fast women). O has beaten both of these teams recently, and should have done it again, but we came out flat. Exception Emily, who sparked a ziz-zag point with an improbable cross field catch and an equally impressive cross-field forehand to Liam for the score. Then Chris hit go. He had a full-field run for a put from Andrew to keep it at 2-3, and he bagged another long one from Will to make it 5-6. It was 5-8 at half. Chris didn't stop. He apprehended another long one from Liam to keep us within 4 at 7-11. Corey busted long for Todd. 8-11. Emily fed Clint, who hit Chris wide open for 9-12. (A recap contributor suggested that r.f. quip that Chris was "consistently tall." That he was. Don't mean a thing without hands, though, and he has some of those, too.) Molly tracked down a dive-bomb backhand for 11-13. That's when the D line collected 2 points, the first one on a Todd hammer to Beth, and the second when Corey hit a blazing Eric long. 13's. Somewhere in the D-line smack down, Tyler traded his camera for cleats and joined us on the field. Todd nearly fell down on the pull and aborted the mission, but too late to notify Tyler and his friend the fairy, who had hit a full sprint halfway down the field. They found themselves alone, then turned around to find Todd righting himself and chuckling. O had some spunk left, but not quite enough for the win. 13-15 to a bunch of drunk Oregonians.
O ended the Howl 4-3. Kathy and Captain Emeritus Andrew awarded captains' awards to Eric for being rocket-propelled and to Molly for her perpetual inner fire (and for the stuffed dinosaur). O closed out the 2009 season with some tasty mexican food in Zillah. A TEARGAS SEAFRONTS HONK! Love, PACIFY REAR
"Put your entire team in the spotlight. Thanks to them, you're able to experience a level of success that you wouldn't have been able to achieve on your own. Remember that when it's your turn to help one of them out."