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2008 Olympia Co-Ed Traveling Team |
Hey y'all, this is the Hanford Howl recap. After two weeks of procrastination, the recap fairy (herinafter "r.f.") is suffering from a dearth of details, but her enthusiasm endures. Rumor has it that Andrew might remember some scores. Ask him about those.
First, to hell with chronology. In the fourth game on Saturday, O (known at Hanford Howl as "Under There" and sporting underpants) played Moonshine (disguised as Full Moon Slayers, and boasting the services of one Mr. Nunlist). This was the finest team effort in which r.f. has ever been involved. She declares that O never trailed. (Santana reports that it was 3-4 at some juncture, but who among us can trust a lawyer in a magenta nightie?) Every single O player had a hand in the improbable victory. Todd's stealthy little handler cut up the sideline kept the flow alive. Erica and Caitlin's two-woman handler line swung it calmly until they were good and ready to score. Mona (Moonshine's veteran handler) needed stopping, and Lisa and Molly were all over it (Molly even put the smack down on a Corey-to-Mona throw, busted to the endzone, and missed snagging the score by millimeters.) Cynthia rescued Todd's wayward hammer in the back of the endzone. Liam served up layout D that made the Moonshine sideline whimper. Then he made them cry with a diving score in the corner after Santana's timeout on stall 7. Jon hauled down a floater on the goal line. (Corey ran down the field some minutes later and called a strip. O shrugged, backed it up, and scored for a second time in the same point.) In every point, our D was hot and our O was steady but inspired. Not a bit of luck involved ... until game point, when Andrew got rid of it on stall 9 to the back corner and r.f. realized it was her or nobody. It was her ... no layout required, even. A darn good desperation huck. As Erica later put it, in the Moonshine game, everything became possible. O rounded things off with a raunchy rendition of the Monster Mash (think "Monster Shaft") and presented Corey with a dented spudnut (more on that later). Then we took a lot of pictures of us with our underwear on the outside.
Some other stuff happened on Saturday before that. The Old People Club woke up early and procured two dozen spudnuts (potato flour donuts from a Richland breakfast institution). They were good. We shared with others.
O took care of the Whitman alumni in the first game, despite support provided by Gov. Schwarzenegger. Jon's and Molly's thespian skills shone in the cheer as they impersonated presidential candidates. (Though "Jon" McCain couldn't seem to remember to say "maverick." His future in GOP politics is questionable.)
In the second game, we took a predictable shellacking from an Oregon combo team, which included some Coltrane folks and a sprinkling of Schwa ladies. (If you can't play at nationals, why not play at a nuclear superfund site?) The hilight of this game may* have been Gordon's long throw to Kathy for a score. That's right. Observed Kathy: "That's what happens when they let me out of the cage."
*"may" because we don't remember if this happened in this game or the next ... it is surely a hilight regardless
In game 3, we put away some more Whitties, this time the younger set. A particularly acclaimed point went Erica upfield to Gordon, to Todd, to Molly for a give-and-go. Had the D on their heels the whole time.
The tournament food was not the stuff of legends. Nor was the party ... though it had its redeeming moments. Santana got incredulously congratulated by dozens of folks for O having ended up in the A pool. The bar didn't confiscate the geoduck guys' extra stealthy water bottle full of rum. We helped Todd write the cheer of his dreams to "If I had a Million Dollars." Rich Coker, when queried about his saucy-little-hat-and-sunglasses-at-night ensemble, replied, "When you're a baller at my level ... " And Kathy went down in quote history with, "Gee, Mike, thanks for walking down here to give us a ride home."
Sunday dawned with 10 mph endzone-to-endzone wind. Our first A-pool opponents were Thunderhorse, whom we had beaten on universe point in Potlatch semis. It was all estrogen early, with the first four scores to O women receivers. Lisa was her usual stalwart self in the wind -- going up strong on both O and D in the endzone. Andrew had a beautiful upwind put to the front corner. Jake was on fire on D. And Cynthia's one-handed grab for a score was one for the ages. O was, again, steady and smooth ... and victorious.
The next game, against Tacoma, was a change of pace. After we tied it at 3's, Tacoma threw a befuddling zone, and they took half by a wide margin. O regrouped, thanks to the handlers, and had more and more successful upwind drives every point. In one series, after more than a dozen successful throws (and an impressive one-finger rescue by Kathy), an exhausted Tacoma went person. The downwind got fun, too. Liam made a diving catch followed by a huck to Andrew, who slid on his red thong underwear for the scoring catch in the corner (Mr. K may have also been wearing a size 40-DD brassiere at the time). Nate's on-your-toes D made his opponent "fake" eight times in one possession (no women's undergarments involved). In the end, we weren't a match for Tacoma, but we played some damn good ultimate in the second half. We walked away tired but content ... and we got to hear Andrew greet Corey as he walked in from a far-off field: "Hey Corey, how's the B pool going?"
Lest r.f. paint too rosy a picture of the weekend, she must note some serious problems. Liam's cleats did not arrive until halfway through game 1 (Corey was later sorry he'd delivered them). The Spudnut Shop was closed on Sunday. Gordon did not have uniform-worthy underwear (until Erica donated a striking striped pair). Kathy travelled with a squeaky rubber rat, talked in her sleep, and teamed with Molly to shove hangers, holy books, and sanitary napkin bags in her roommates' bed. Todd had gas. And we did not, at any point, make the acquaintance of Nate and Cynthia's kitten.
But that fourth game on Saturday made up for it all...
Captain's awards went to Liam for his general ridiculousness and for inspiring Moonshine to take out a hit on his life and to Kathy for her utter reliability and for coming up with the rotating "hot thong" headgear (but not for her powers of observation). Temporary captain's award to Jon for being the temporary captain and also for getting a wife-beater sunburn.
Thanks to Andrea for writing the recap and posting the pictures.
"Put your entire team in the spotlight. Thanks to them, you're able to experience a level of success that you wouldn't have been able to achieve on your own. Remember that when it's your turn to help one of them out."